Tattoo Kits

October 2, 2017

Oshkosh and BBQ Sauce :: Ohio Bush Planes Review

by prophecy / How to Tattoo / 0 Comments

If you have made it your lifelong dream to make flying videos but then you make it back home from Oshkosh USA and realize you only turned the camera on a couple times during your 2 hour visit, what are you to do? Improvise. My OshKosh video takes place in a corn field in Ohio.

We busted out of our farmer’s markets Saturday afternoon to attended the largest, busiest, aircraft expo in the world. Three planes were crushed as a wind storm blasted through, or so was the report as we passed Gary, Indiana. “I would highly discourage you from coming in this evening to Oshkosh” said the man giving briefs on the phone from the ultralight strip. I figured he just didn’t like people from Ohio, so onward we pushed.

Eerily, there was no air traffic save one Zepplin when we arrived 15 minutes before they shut the airspace down. It was so weird, I thought maybe they moved Oshkosh to another location this year. I contacted the air traffic man at the tower to make sure we could land, even though getting on the radio is supposed to be a sin. He said, do whatever you want as long as you don’t hit the Zepplin.
Dang, Oshkosh ain’t so bad after all!

I even did a flyby over the ultralight field to figure out where it was.

I mentioned we saw Troy. But really we just saw him from a distance as he took off. It was still enough time to flip him off from the runway as the organizers watched in horror. Sorry EAA volunteers. It’s a sign of endearment where we come from, so eff off.

Exhausted, our friends George and Martha swaddled us in a blanket and we collapsed in the grass among 100,000 other people to watch the highest caliber little airshow in the land. It was dark outside, so they strapped fire and smoke to their wings to make sure we could see them. At the end a jet powered truck blasted past us on the runway at 375mph. Oh, and he dropped napalm on us as he passed. It was freaking badass. Not sure why that didn’t make the video.

Oshkosh might be catering to an older crowd. They are still rocking out to Bob Seager and “The Danger Zone” for most of their air-show routines. We did enjoy Matt Younkin’s “Phantom of the Opera” choice in his UFO looking Beechcraft, however. I think a royalty free ditty such as the one used in this video would be appropriate if the organizers would like some free advice. For a list of other songs I will demand a free 6 month EAA membership.

Oshkosh was sort of how I remembered it. I remember the food tasting like freezer burned cardboard, but this year we found a really tasty BBQ pork sandwich and split it (OshKosh charges a lot of money like Disney World for extravagant items like BBQ, coffee, and liquid inserts for your flip flops should you come so equipped). The BBQ sauce would come back to haunt us later…the video goes in to more detail.

I landed back at the grain farm with the sun setting in my eyes making it rather difficult to land on a postage stamp. We had to peel around to the onion patch that night on touch down…We ran inside to see if we missed anything on Fox News. Sure enough, we should have stayed home and skipped Oshkosh. They fixed that debt ceiling thing while we were gone. I knew we should have stayed home to watch that on TV. The next morning, I decided to film a couple touch n goes and it’s actually a nice strip when you can see. The Matco tattoo on my forehead was well received by the in-laws.

In conclusion, I highly recommend attending Oshkosh.

The End.

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